In August 2016, when my son was 8 months old, we actually had what they call an evidentiary hearing. I was bashed for being “controlling” and the Judge put in the final paperwork that it’s clear I do not trust Justin. Had I been allowed to discuss our relationship maybe she would have gotten a better idea why I have so much distrust.
The final orders gave a brief background to the case. Justin was the only one allowed to testify regarding our past relationship and he and his attorney said that they were only questioning paternity “because of the actions of the mother.” Because he chose to not be involved, from the beginning, had multiple relationships, and continues to do so now, and I didn’t feel that it was my obligation to allow him into the delivery room, suddenly I’m a “slut.” It was laughable at best.
The orders did not grant any supervised time, as I had requested, and gave Justin 14 hours per week with a baby who had no idea who he was because he couldn’t bother himself to make more of an effort to see him in the 8 months prior. He got every Saturday until my son was 3. I was also required to leave work early three times per week to get to the drop off location at the time Justin specified. I also had to drive 40 minutes, out of county to drop my son off. The judge did not order any child support to be granted but left that to Justin’s attorney to work up the papers. Of course those papers were held up, ironically, for several months.
My baby screamed at every single drop off. It was horrible listening to him in total terror as I handed him over to this abusive individual. It got to the point that we couldn’t put him in his car seat to go anywhere because he thought we were taking him there. It broke my heart.
I took him to the hospital, because I had tried to file a previous report with the city police and was told they didn’t want to get involved in a domestic dispute. This was after Justin’s “baby sitter” said she wanted to stab me in the throat with a knife.
There are pictures I cannot post here for non-PG related content, but my sons diaper was never changed when he was with them. If it was changed, the diaper was put on him so tightly that it actually caused him discomfort.
As you can see, this diaper is entirely too tight and there is no reason for this. My son started getting diaper rash, which he had never gotten until he started going with Justin. He was also getting red cuts into his skin where the diaper elastic was actually cutting into his legs and stomach because it was so tight.
Two months. That’s all it took for the abuse to start on my son. Justin was abusing the baby, who was now 10 months old just to get back at me. He would pick the baby up with a case of beer, and told me he was taking the baby hunting. It was reported to me by his family members he was putting our son in a backpack and taking him hunting.
After the bite mark, the emergency room doctor thought there was enough cause for concern to call the police. The case was investigated as a child abuse case, and eventually passed to DCF.
In the mean time, I was court ordered to attend a “Healthy Options for Parenting Effectively” class with my abuser. This “HOPE” class was somewhat of a joke. You’re required to attend, and pay for the class, but nothing of real value is discussed. They don’t want you to discuss specifics in your case with the group, and by having your abuser in the same room, it’s rather difficult to open up anyways.
At the intake of this HOPE class, I told the facilitator that Justin had attacked me after a doctors appointment for our son, that there was prior domestic violence and that I was afraid for my safety. They didn’t take this seriously until they let the men leave first one night and I refused to walk to my car alone. Justin had sent this text that day, to the mother of his daughter and made it a point to let me know he was carrying loaded guns in his vehicle that evening.
Once again. My story has never changed. This man is abusive and uses his perceived power to control and dominate. My child is the one who gets injured because they will not listen to me or even look at my documentation. This is why I need to tell my side of the story, because no one will know that I’m fighting for the right reasons. This isn’t about retaliation. This isn’t about hatred. This is about protecting an innocent child from unnecessary abuse.