Importance of Note-keeping


I’m hoping that someone will read this and it will help them in their journey as well.  I have started doing this for my record keeping, when it comes to various things, but most importantly, my son’s visitation with his abusive father.  I’ve alluded to the fact that I have to mark the diapers, and photograph them, because he refuses to change them.  I also take notes of this too.  I am ordered by the court to provide food for the child, as his father typically schedules visits during what a reasonable person would consider “dinner time.”  I don’t mind doing this, other than the fact, often times, my son’s father will eat the food.  He has instructed me to bring certain foods, because “he” likes them, not referring to my son.  I have been asked to bring steak for dinner.

I would like to point out, I am not ordered to provide a meal for Justin.  I am only required to provide foods for the child, as his father has NO idea what to feed him.  For example, during the two months he had unsupervised visits, he would take my son during dinner time, and offer him an uncooked, unpeeled carrot.  My son was 8 months old, still in a rear facing car seat, and had 4 teeth.  I hope that I’m not being unreasonable when I identify the severe choking hazard this brings about.

The type of father we are dealing with is also the type to withhold food as a disciplinary tactic from his children (I have personally witnessed this, and it’s more than just snacks or dessert).  He is also the type of person who will beat a child for not eating all of their food, or for gagging after he force feeds them.  I have personally witnessed all of these behaviors.

Anyways, I thought I would take a moment to document for you how much effort I go into documentation.  I have often times wanted to give up.  Often times, I have thought about stopping, because no one will read it.  However, I have support from close friends and family who encourage me to continue it in hopes that one day someone will read the documentation and actually help me.  One day someone will help my son.

This documentation started way before I ever had my son.  I won’t post everything here, but I will post what I have been using for the last several months to document the supervised visits between my son and his father.

Feb 2017 Inked2017-06-26 12.27.39_LI_Redacted This is a link to the documentation for the Month of February.  As you will note, we had a new court order that began supervised visits on February 3, 2017.  He was able to see the child for a total of an hour and a half the entire month.

march 2017 2017-06-26 12.27.50_Redacted This is a link to the documentation for the month of March.  He was able to see the child for a total of an hour and a half for the entire month.  We received a new court order on March 31, 2017 that indefinitely suspended his unsupervised visits because he was not following the court order.

April 2017-06-26 12.27.58_Redacted  This is a link to the documentation for the month of April.  He started spending over an hour per week with our son, because of the newest court order.  Please note the times he is scheduling visits, the fact that he has not changed diapers, and the fact that he’s not feeding the child.  I bring food, and he will give it back upon my return completely untouched.  Often times, my son is begging for “juice” when I get there, but he has not been given a drink and is incredibly thirsty.

May 2017-06-26 12.28.09_Redacted  This is a link to the documentation for the month of May.  Still spending 1-2 hours per week, not changing diapers, and not feeding the child.

June 2017_Redacted  This is the most recent documentation for the month of June.  We were supposed to return back to the case manager in early June, but I have heard nothing about scheduling, so we continue on in the current court order.  Thankfully, because the hot weather, the refusal to change and feed him, and the denial of drinks for the child, it’s best that he’s only away from me for an hour at a time.

The last two weeks, Justin has started climbing in my vehicle upon my arrival to collect our son.  This is inappropriate, and unnecessary.  He has told me previously that he’s thought about strangling the mother of his other child in this manner, and it makes me incredibly uneasy.  I’m sure that is his intention.  I have started standing on the outside of my car so that he cannot strangle me.