The agonies of love

We still have not gone back to see the case manager.  The case manager has been in contact with the attorneys, and it appears that Justin is involved in the batterers intervention class.  He started it in May, according to the notes by the case manager.  

Justin is also expecting his third child, due in November, with yet another mother.  He is living with her and her son, plus his daughter in a two bedroom home.  There is not adequate space for the members of the household now, and I don’t foresee the living arrangements getting any better, yet justin still intends on taking our son over night as soon as he possibly can, even with no where for him to sleep.  

Justin has attended some type of men’s retreat and has written us letters letting us know that he has forgiven us for hurting him.  I didn’t bother opening mine, as his forgiveness will not aid in my healing.  He needs to be actively working on being a decent person and gaining our forgiveness if he wants to create a decent environment for our son.  I have a feeling that with a new baby, he will forget about my son soon enough.  

The therapist for our son wrote a letter to the case manager and requested that the visit structure be changed to help the child.  The attorneys were told by the case manager to have their clients incorporate these new changes into the current visitation schedule.   Justin refuses, because he wants to continue taking the baby from the supervisors home without detection. 

Notice the time he is texting me about the visit.  4:56 AM, yet telling the court that I am non responsive or slow to respond.  

He is also preparing to go on a vacation to Florida, yet he has not paid me for any medical expenses since I filed a medical judgement against him in February. 

Once again, I’m not withholding the child, but the visitation schedule is fitting only Justin’s schedule, not around the baby’s schedule.  I have been forced to resign my position at work, and take a lesser paid position because of the visitation schedule and Justin’s obsession with making me miss work.   It seems that the child and I are the only ones suffering.  

Like a sail boat, waiting on the wind. 

We got a report filed with DCF regarding the bruises. Unfortunately, the 20somethings they sent out to investigate were really concerned about it being late in the day on a Friday.  They obviously had big plans for the weekend.  In the 10 minutes total they were at my home, they checked their watches 3 times.  I was informed that if Justin didn’t admit to knowing about the bruising, they would be closing the case.  At one point this girl actually rolled her eyes at me.  I’ll never be sorry for trying to protect my kid.  

Ever since the visit on Wednesday last week, the baby has been having night terrors.  There is nothing I can do.  

Over the weekend, justin went on vacation, and forgot about his son until about 2 hours before he wanted to see him.  I had already made plans, so he didn’t offer any other times.  Since he doesn’t want me to offer any times either, I just left it at that.  

He pretends to be father of the year with his online presence, yet… the proof is in the pudding.  It’s easier to place blame instead of admitting fault.  

I’ve made several attempts to contact the DV crisis center.  They are not returning my calls either.  When something bad happens, I want people to know I tried.  I tried so very hard to get help.